Relationship Counselling and What It Can Do For Your Relationship

Published on July 17, 2019

Our existence is defined by the contexts that we each create around us. It is these contexts that give us our sense of worth, happiness and fulfilment. These contexts take the form of what we do, who we live with, our relationships, and so on. Relationships are an integral part of our existence. We take on varied roles in different relationships, as sons or daughters, as friends, peers or colleagues, as husbands, wives or partners, as parents, teachers, mentors, and so on. As humans, we strive to give meaning and depth to all our relationships, but how we relate to one person can be very different from how we relate to another. And both of these may be perfectly healthy.

What constitutes a healthy relationship? A healthy relationship is not necessarily a perfect relationship. Two people may not always agree with each, they may have differences of opinion, they can have differences in their likes and dislikes, and yet, they can have a healthy relationship. What determines the health of a relationship are the 3 Cs- Care, Commitment and Communication. Problems is relationships arise when there is a breakdown in one of these three Cs. Most people are able to recognise these breakdowns and work to rectify the situation, but sometimes, things go too far and some external help is needed to help them get back on track.

Counseling can help people (whatever the nature of their relationship) identify difficulties and work towards resolving through these.  It can help them understand each other better, improve communication and foster care & commitment. Relationship counselling can help people in all relationships.

If you have identified difficulties in your own or a loved one’s relationships, here are some points to remember:

Don’t wait

Most couples tend to wait for years before seeking help. Often by this time, their issues may have become so ingrained that change and resolution may become impossible. Seek help sooner than later, so that you can address things before they turn into bigger problems.

Commit to it

It is important to prioritize your sessions as you would an office meeting. If you miss, cancel or reschedule appointments too often, your therapist or partner may assume that you are not committed to working things out things.

Focus on changing

It is easy to play the blame game and expect your partner to take the blame for everything that has gone wrong in your relationship so far. After all, it does take two people to make a relationship work. Resolving whatever issues there are, can only start after both you and your partner accept how each of you has contributed to your issues.

Give it your all

Counselling can only help those who are willing to help themselves. Your problems will not magically go away on their own. If you are not fully invested in fixing your relationship, then you will not be able to. So immerse yourself in the process and take ownership of it.

The good news is that between 60 and 70 percent of couples make improvements in their relationships even after a little therapy. Here are some things you can expect in your sessions:

  • You will be about your version of how your relationship works
  • Open communication
  • Sharing feelings
  • Analysis of behavioural and communication patterns
  • Talking about the positive and negative points of your relationship
  • You may be asked to do communication exercises at home
  • Pointing out of discrepancies in you or your partner’s behaviour and actions

Making the decision to go for relationship counselling can be difficult as it can be hard to acknowledge that your relationship needs help. There is also a lot of stigma around seeking help for relationship problems. But many couples find that when they attend with an open mind, they benefit from even a few sessions. For a safe, unbiased and non-judgemental space to talk, please book an appointment with us at Tranquil Minds.